Personality Guide Based on Drinks

Before you order a drink in public, you should read this!

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s
personality based ON what she drinks. Though interviewed separately,
they concurred on almost all counts. The result:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky
taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants. Your Approach: You won’t have to
approach her. If she’s interested, she’ll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles. Your
Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with
friends.

Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually she
has NO clue. Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is…this
should be an easy target.

Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally
drunk … and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing
to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!

Drink: Tequila
No explanations required — everyone KNOWS what happens here.

THEN, there is the MALE addendum —-

The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He’s poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He’s hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to
help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn’t give a damn about anything but getting laid.

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel: He’s gay.

http://www.anvari.org/fun/Gender/Personality_Guide_Based_on_Drinks.html

Beer goggles

This is why I only hit on females when I’m sober.

How to open a beer….and look cool.

Surviving College: Rule #2 – learn how to open a beer without a bottle opener.

Do you use a bottle opener? Well, one thing I have learned at college is: no one has an opener when you need one. So here is a video to teach you to how to open some bottles. And if you were wondering, no beer was hurt in the making of this video.

Remember, spilling your beer is a sin. It’s the 11th commandment!

9 Reasons to Get Drunk

 Sometimes “because” isn’t a good enough answer.  So Xxoozero gives every college student, or anybody else who is an alcoholic, an excuse to get trashed.
By Xxoozero
1. Your girlfriend left you
This is the best reason to drink. The only way to get over having your heart ripped out and torn to pieces then set on fire and left in an alley is to drown yourself in alcoholic beverages until you forget your own name, let alone what your now ex girlfriend told you two days ago. This also works if a buddy’s girlfriend leaves him.

2. It is Tuesday
This is the second best reason to drink. Any other weekday can be inserted. It is a statement declaring that you will not conform to society’s unfounded rules of only drinking on the weekends. Be your own person. Don’t be a sheep.

3. Someone dies
It could be a friend, celebrity, or just some random historical figure. Anytime anyone who is not with us anymore is even mentioned, a drink is called for. Your friend has to do a report on Napoleon? Tip a few domestics to the old dead French fuck.

4. A sports team somewhere wins something
Every day of the year, a sporting event happens and one team wins and some guys somewhere get drunk in triumph. Some other guys get drunk in defeat. Choose whichever side has the hottest women.

5. It is free
If a man offers you an alcoholic beverage without asking for compensation and you do not accept, you are a right foul git. Even if you don’t drink it all it is good manners to accept. If you are a girl and you are not going to sleep with him, drink it because you know you were going to anyways.

6. It is hot/cold/snowing/raining/nice outside
If it is cold, you will need a whiskey to warm up with. If it is hot, you will need a beer to cool off with. If it is nice, you will need both to enjoy the weather. This covers the entire spectrum of outdoor conditions.

7. You haven’t seen a friend since last week
It could be a week, years, or even a few hours. Just the fact that someone was gone and they came back is reason enough to get drunk as all shit and reminisce on the old days, even if that was only this morning.

8. It is past noon
Only an alcoholic drinks before noon unless he is still up from the night before. Even guys who drink all day tend to wait until at least after 12. Biff Tannen was the lone exception because sometimes he had to do his killing before breakfast.

9. Because beer commercials do come true
“But zero, they never happen to me…” That’s because you’re drinking Bud Light. Try something that doesn’t taste like water.